Declining a collab


Not with someone from here. But had to do it and still feel bad even though I tried to be as polite and honest as possible about why I felt it wouldn’t work for me.

I guess there’s nothing else to it. A person has to be able to say “no thank you” to that kind of request.


It’s hard to say no, but it’s important to stay true to what we feel and express it with assertiveness. It’s a way of showing respect to others and to oneself. Things tend backfire when we fail to be honest.

I think that as long as you were respectful and polite, it should be alright.


If you needed to say no, then no was the answer.
If it’s a square peg in a round hole then you’re not letting anyone down, you’re just being truthful.

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Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes I just say “I’m more of a solo writer, but thanks for asking!”

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Yes, saying no is not a refusal of the person just of the collab. Some people assume that saying no makes you a bad person but it doesn’t. Knowing your limits and turning down things that don’t work for you is healthy. You’re accepting your preferences and boundaries. Only Karen types cannot accept the word no. Their reaction to a polite ‘no’ is not your responsibility. Hugs.

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Thankfully it seems like everything is smoothed over with that friend, we have been chatting since then and its not come up again. I know he was disappointed and maybe even a little hurt because he floated the idea without asking directly a couple times and I gave him a vague idea that I might consider it, and then he asked directly and I had to say no. Just broke a very long dry spell and have been very productive recently and the kink I’m writing in right now is a kink he specifically has no interest in. So a collab now was just wrong for me, and I guess I was able to communicate that in a way that didn’t torch the friendship.

Thanks all!