Partnered writers - does your SO know?

There was once an old post on MCforum where a writer said his hobby was a well-protected secret. It came to my mind recently when I, my SO and a (close) friend joked about my writing (in the context of advertised merits when seeking a job). My partner obviously knows, but I started wondering if this was the norm or the exception.

So a question to writers with SOs: Do they know about your work here?

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My husband knows I write short stories occasionally. I may have even mentioned they were erotic in nature, but he has certainly never read any of them.

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We have one ā€˜hobbyā€™ room where both my PC desktop and our big TV screen is placed. So, when my husband is watching TV, I obviously canā€™t really hide what Iā€™m doing on the PC, and thatā€™s fine with me.

Naturally, it was impossible to hide the fact that I took over a website. All those talks with Hugh over the internet, all my programming etcā€¦ and the title of the website didnā€™t escape his eyes eitherā€¦

Yes, it was a bit awkward, to be honest. My husband doesnā€™t know anything about the fetishes that brought me to GSS in the first place. And Iā€™m really reluctant to tell him about them.

But he just accepted the fact that Iā€™m hosting a web site about gay stories without asking any questions. He also hasnā€™t shown the slightest interest in reading any of the stories.

At least as far as I knowā€¦ Who knows what heā€™s doing while Iā€™m not looking :wink:

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My boyfriend of 5 years knows Iā€™m into boy/sir stuff, dirty talk, uniforms, etc. He also knows I have a thing for hypnosis. I think he also caught me while I was writing a story. But he doesnā€™t press it, he knows I like my privacy with this kind of stuff, and itā€™s a good outlet since heā€™s actually not all that into the same kinks I am. I donā€™t want him to read my stories more for the embarrassment of someone else reading something I wrote in general, but Iā€™m sure if he did read them he wouldnā€™t think any less of meā€¦I hope.

Similar here, pretty much a Donā€™t ask/Donā€™t tell situation.

Similar to Martin, I couldnā€™t have managed the website without my SO knowing something. We were together for a few years before I told him what I was into. He read one short I wrote but thatā€™s about it. He doesnā€™t pry too much and isnā€™t very interested.

My partner knows, and has even read some of my stories, though MC/hypnosis isnā€™t his thing at all.

My bf suspects I think but itā€™s not a big deal and doesnā€™t affect our sex life.

My boyfriend doesnā€™t care. Heā€™s a minor leaguer and actually thinks itā€™s way weirder that Iā€™m into baseball than it is that Iā€™m into mind control. Not that he minds, of course.

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Yeah, I told my guy years ago, way before we got married. Heā€™s totally chill with it, doesnā€™t care about any of the details, and has never read my stuff. Sometimes we talk about it in general (when I get a ton of comments of a story, or something like that), but itā€™s one of my hobbies and he doesnā€™t butt in.

My husband knows, and I even think he lurks on this site. I donā€™t think he quite understands my writing ā€“ he often says, ā€œDoes this mean you want to be dominated? I mean, in all your stories the guy turns into some big bottom!ā€ For me, a story is often the expansion of an idea or image ā€“ nothing more than fantasy of the moment turning someone into something theyā€™re not and forcing them to love it. I enjoy the process of writing a story ā€“ thatā€™s why it takes me so damn long!

So yeah, he knows and no, weā€™ve never acted any of my stories out. (Though I did act out the ā€œWrestling Mattā€ story once with a bodybuilder buddy of mine. Was good playtime.) Our fetishes are in different neighborhoods. All good.

ā€œDoes this mean you want to be dominated? I mean, in all your stories the guy turns into some big bottom!ā€

Hahaha! While my partner knows this isnā€™t the case for me, I could forgive someone for thinking this about my stories. I think every last one that Iā€™ve released is first-person with the POV character getting turned into a gay bottom. So, itā€™s logical to assume that I want to be that person. In reality, though, Iā€™m usually either imagining myself as the hypnotist or as a third-party observer. Itā€™s very rare that Iā€™m envisioning myself as the bottom in the story because I donā€™t bottom in real life (though I do sub sometimes, which is confusing for some people). I think thereā€™s only one of my stories thatā€™s been published where I was envisioning myself as the sub/bottom. Iā€™ll let you guys figure out which one. (Hint: itā€™s not on GSS.)

Off-topic to the thread, but on-topic for the above, Iā€™ve actually tried writing a couple of third-person stories, but for whatever reason, I canā€™t write those very well despite that being the majority of fiction in the world. :man_shrugging:

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While I canā€™t so much speak for a significant other I did mention my interest for erotic hypnosis to a friend (female) of mine once which then led to me learning that one of my other friends (male) was also interested in erotic hypnosis from a storytelling perspective. Said male friend was straight so he didnā€™t focus on the gay aspect but the fact that we could talk about hypnosis and mind control from a fetish standpoint was fun, even as I mentioned men and he mentioned woman.

Sigh. I miss those conversations back in college. :slight_smile:

Can I say that this is totally interesting to me and what I do as well. Not to derail the thread but when I imagine such scenes I think of myself as either the top/dominant or, and this is often, I am a third-party observer who is in the head of the sub and thus can know what he is feeling. While at the same time not being said sub/bottom in my own head. Iā€™m not entirely sure why, but I guess its because I know my mind and so to envision the submissiveness and need to please of the sub I get to see the hypnosis work in my head.

hehe

Anyway, I just thought of this when I read the recent comments in this thread.

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Have you ever considered writing from the POV of the hypnotist more, if thatā€™s who youā€™re imagining yourself as? While its very interesting and really hot to watch the sub/bottomā€™s mind slowly be altered from the perspective of the sub, Iā€™d have thought youā€™d like writing as the dominant more. Of course, theyā€™re first and foremost YOUR stories, so you can write whatever you like, but is there a reason you like to write from the subā€™s point of view more?

I find that writing as the hypnotist destroys the ā€œmagicā€. Instead of it being a mystery as to what the hypnotist is saying or doing, it suddenly becomes concrete. It takes you from clueless to clued-in. In addition, if itā€™s not really carefully written, it can make the hypnotist go from being benevolently evil to truly evil, since you actually see their inner thoughts. Finally, thereā€™s the fact that I donā€™t actually practice hypnosis IRL, so I suspect it wouldnā€™t come across very realistically (even within the bounds of the fact that this is fantasy to begin with). Doing it with Casper in the second chapter of Prom Night was a bit easier, since he was fairly naive and the realistic hypnosis wasnā€™t an issue, but there are very few of my stories that I think would lend themselves to that kind of writing.

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Yeah, that makes sense. Honestly I think the best stories are the ones like Prom Night or I Think, where the hypnotist is naĆÆve or has just figured out their ability, even if itā€™s not really from their perspective. I think itā€™s because having them explore the ability and witness their reaction to getting whatever they want is much hotter and more interesting, because it adds an element of surprise; whereas in a story with a more seasoned hypnotist, heā€™s completely in control from start to finish. And while that in itself can be a turn-on, there isnā€™t much surprise plot-wise

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