Partnered writers - does your SO know?

There was once an old post on MCforum where a writer said his hobby was a well-protected secret. It came to my mind recently when I, my SO and a (close) friend joked about my writing (in the context of advertised merits when seeking a job). My partner obviously knows, but I started wondering if this was the norm or the exception.

So a question to writers with SOs: Do they know about your work here?

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My husband knows I write short stories occasionally. I may have even mentioned they were erotic in nature, but he has certainly never read any of them.

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We have one ‘hobby’ room where both my PC desktop and our big TV screen is placed. So, when my husband is watching TV, I obviously can’t really hide what I’m doing on the PC, and that’s fine with me.

Naturally, it was impossible to hide the fact that I took over a website. All those talks with Hugh over the internet, all my programming etc… and the title of the website didn’t escape his eyes either…

Yes, it was a bit awkward, to be honest. My husband doesn’t know anything about the fetishes that brought me to GSS in the first place. And I’m really reluctant to tell him about them.

But he just accepted the fact that I’m hosting a web site about gay stories without asking any questions. He also hasn’t shown the slightest interest in reading any of the stories.

At least as far as I know… Who knows what he’s doing while I’m not looking :wink:

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My boyfriend of 5 years knows I’m into boy/sir stuff, dirty talk, uniforms, etc. He also knows I have a thing for hypnosis. I think he also caught me while I was writing a story. But he doesn’t press it, he knows I like my privacy with this kind of stuff, and it’s a good outlet since he’s actually not all that into the same kinks I am. I don’t want him to read my stories more for the embarrassment of someone else reading something I wrote in general, but I’m sure if he did read them he wouldn’t think any less of me…I hope.

Similar here, pretty much a Don’t ask/Don’t tell situation.

Similar to Martin, I couldn’t have managed the website without my SO knowing something. We were together for a few years before I told him what I was into. He read one short I wrote but that’s about it. He doesn’t pry too much and isn’t very interested.

My partner knows, and has even read some of my stories, though MC/hypnosis isn’t his thing at all.

My bf suspects I think but it’s not a big deal and doesn’t affect our sex life.

My boyfriend doesn’t care. He’s a minor leaguer and actually thinks it’s way weirder that I’m into baseball than it is that I’m into mind control. Not that he minds, of course.

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Yeah, I told my guy years ago, way before we got married. He’s totally chill with it, doesn’t care about any of the details, and has never read my stuff. Sometimes we talk about it in general (when I get a ton of comments of a story, or something like that), but it’s one of my hobbies and he doesn’t butt in.

My husband knows, and I even think he lurks on this site. I don’t think he quite understands my writing – he often says, “Does this mean you want to be dominated? I mean, in all your stories the guy turns into some big bottom!” For me, a story is often the expansion of an idea or image – nothing more than fantasy of the moment turning someone into something they’re not and forcing them to love it. I enjoy the process of writing a story – that’s why it takes me so damn long!

So yeah, he knows and no, we’ve never acted any of my stories out. (Though I did act out the “Wrestling Matt” story once with a bodybuilder buddy of mine. Was good playtime.) Our fetishes are in different neighborhoods. All good.

“Does this mean you want to be dominated? I mean, in all your stories the guy turns into some big bottom!”

Hahaha! While my partner knows this isn’t the case for me, I could forgive someone for thinking this about my stories. I think every last one that I’ve released is first-person with the POV character getting turned into a gay bottom. So, it’s logical to assume that I want to be that person. In reality, though, I’m usually either imagining myself as the hypnotist or as a third-party observer. It’s very rare that I’m envisioning myself as the bottom in the story because I don’t bottom in real life (though I do sub sometimes, which is confusing for some people). I think there’s only one of my stories that’s been published where I was envisioning myself as the sub/bottom. I’ll let you guys figure out which one. (Hint: it’s not on GSS.)

Off-topic to the thread, but on-topic for the above, I’ve actually tried writing a couple of third-person stories, but for whatever reason, I can’t write those very well despite that being the majority of fiction in the world. :man_shrugging:

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While I can’t so much speak for a significant other I did mention my interest for erotic hypnosis to a friend (female) of mine once which then led to me learning that one of my other friends (male) was also interested in erotic hypnosis from a storytelling perspective. Said male friend was straight so he didn’t focus on the gay aspect but the fact that we could talk about hypnosis and mind control from a fetish standpoint was fun, even as I mentioned men and he mentioned woman.

Sigh. I miss those conversations back in college. :slight_smile:

Can I say that this is totally interesting to me and what I do as well. Not to derail the thread but when I imagine such scenes I think of myself as either the top/dominant or, and this is often, I am a third-party observer who is in the head of the sub and thus can know what he is feeling. While at the same time not being said sub/bottom in my own head. I’m not entirely sure why, but I guess its because I know my mind and so to envision the submissiveness and need to please of the sub I get to see the hypnosis work in my head.

hehe

Anyway, I just thought of this when I read the recent comments in this thread.

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Have you ever considered writing from the POV of the hypnotist more, if that’s who you’re imagining yourself as? While its very interesting and really hot to watch the sub/bottom’s mind slowly be altered from the perspective of the sub, I’d have thought you’d like writing as the dominant more. Of course, they’re first and foremost YOUR stories, so you can write whatever you like, but is there a reason you like to write from the sub’s point of view more?

I find that writing as the hypnotist destroys the “magic”. Instead of it being a mystery as to what the hypnotist is saying or doing, it suddenly becomes concrete. It takes you from clueless to clued-in. In addition, if it’s not really carefully written, it can make the hypnotist go from being benevolently evil to truly evil, since you actually see their inner thoughts. Finally, there’s the fact that I don’t actually practice hypnosis IRL, so I suspect it wouldn’t come across very realistically (even within the bounds of the fact that this is fantasy to begin with). Doing it with Casper in the second chapter of Prom Night was a bit easier, since he was fairly naive and the realistic hypnosis wasn’t an issue, but there are very few of my stories that I think would lend themselves to that kind of writing.

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Yeah, that makes sense. Honestly I think the best stories are the ones like Prom Night or I Think, where the hypnotist is naïve or has just figured out their ability, even if it’s not really from their perspective. I think it’s because having them explore the ability and witness their reaction to getting whatever they want is much hotter and more interesting, because it adds an element of surprise; whereas in a story with a more seasoned hypnotist, he’s completely in control from start to finish. And while that in itself can be a turn-on, there isn’t much surprise plot-wise

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