Custom Toys

Hello everyone. I’m currently writing a story, and I have a tiny issue. In the world of my story, An Odd Delivery (And maybe A Jocks Karma, not sure), there’s this thing called The Farm. Basically, it’s an organization of masters. They have many services, but the main thing ill be using is their Catalog. I’ve already written this. It’s basically a list of toys, tools, and services Masters could use. These toys wouldn’t be able to exist in real life. They range from forms of living Latex to memory-changing devices to completely changing reality. I was wondering, do you think it’s worthwhile to describe these items, like give their full descriptions or as close as I can get to it within my story, or do you think I should look for another method? Perhaps making a forum post with the items listed? Or a Google Doc with the Catalog included? What are your thoughts on this problem I’m having?

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I see what you’re getting at, the devices sound hot as hell and interesting, but dropping a catalogue list in the middle of your story seems like an error of writing to you (rightfully so).

What I might do in your position would be have the character who is “shopping” browse a little, perhaps reading the descriptions of a couple of the tastiest items that you’ve come up with that aren’t being used in your story, before settling on the item he is actually going to order and use. You could even mention that your shopper character browsed past many other items that were intriguing, leaving the details to the reader to decide.

It’s never a bad thing to have backstory and worldbuilding that you don’t actually put into the story directly. Maybe it will be useful in a future story, maybe not. Either way is fine.

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Thanks for the suggestion. I might just use that. I was planning on just putting short descriptions of the items i would actually include, but dropping names of other items or short descriptions of items he browses past sounds like it would work. Plus it would lengthen the part of my story where they aren’t having sex, which honestly is laughably small when it comes to my stories XD thanks for the help :smiling_face:

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What you describe strongly reminds me of Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.” Each candy has an unusual name and has unusual properties. The candies are not introduced as a catalog (exception occasionally as a humorous aside) but as needed when they help the narrative along. So in your case, maybe it would be better to avoid a list description (except as a humorous aside), but describe them briefly until they get used, and then you can describe the detail of what happens. Good luck!

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Thanks for the advice. Rn I’m trying to remove unneeded details, so the story isn’t bogged down. Doing it in the way you mentioned would really help with that. Thanks for the suggestion ^^

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Hello, my pov is keep it simple, the good old KISS principle.
When I read a story, perhaps because English is my second language, unending descriptions make me impatient, I want to get on with the story. Usually I don’t need to know that the walls are covered with a yellow wall paper with tiny flowers.
Yes you devices are VERY important as we can figure out what to do with them, but give us the possibility of picture them from a somehow accurate but not too detailed description.
Thank you for bringing us in your world.

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I like the keep it simple, describe items as needed to advance a story, but perhaps a catalogue for your reference to hone the item you develop or choose to use, and be able to quickly link it for the reader to view it in the catalogue, offering readers the choice to travel down the rabbit hole. I for one would love getting lost in such a realm! It would be a :drooling_face::drooling_face::drooling_face: adventure for me!

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I agree with the keep it simple approach. Yes devices can be super hot. Indeed, in life I’m a real gear head and use it as much as possible. But in a story I find descriptions of all the available devices akin to inventory analysis at work. From years of reading I have found the description of a male being processed by the device uber hot. Starting from their shock and struggle as they resist being placed and locked in, through their being fully secured and then the process. This is especially hot if they find themselves being enslave by betrayal or mistake and a person that could stop the process is watching but does nothing because the enslavement benefits them. I think of the process Christopher went thru in Randal Austin’s Christopher enslaved. So like some of the other comments say keep it simple other than when a newly minted slave is being processed in the device. Love your stories.

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Since the toys are showing that the story can involve fantastical elements it’s important that you do include some description of them. Just the minimum amount though. Ask yourself if you can pick examples that really set the readers expectation for how unreal the story can be.

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I agree with the others who suggest keeping any devices simple. The more complicated one is, the more likely someone will be confused by or find fault with it. One possibility for introducing them would be to have a Master tell one of his subjects what he MIGHT do to him. “Here’s a handy gadget I could use on you. After I put your dick in the opening at the end, I turn it on. Hypersonic vibrations break down the erectile tissue in your penis, which gets absorbed by your body. What you’re left with is a pecker about a third of its original size. So, if you started out with six inches… well… you do the math.”

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Could you make the catalog a chapter of your story? Or just a standalone story that you can link to in your other stories? I’ve never put links in my stories but I imagine it can be done like standard markdown?

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