Help me becoming a sub

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Hi, I am 20 yrs old and have a boyfriend in the same age. We’ve been together for four years now and I have always been the dom top in our relationship. I was never fucked and would only suck him off occasionally, and even then it was only when I was sitting down and he was standing up, because I wanted to feel comfortable. Most times I would make him cum with a handjob, fucking him, or something like that. We are pretty kinky, and he knows all of my fetishes, but dont have sex a lot because we dont live together yet, so its mostly on the weekends.

But a couple weeks ago, I was sucking him off because I lost a bet to him (told him I could beat him in a game but ended up losing). We were in a party bathroom, I was sitting down in the toilet and he was standing up. Then, he started to walk backwards and, because I was sucking him, I leaned forward. But he started to go so far back I ended up needing to kneel to keep sucking him.

As soon as I knelt, he walked around me and sat down where I was sitting. Now, I was on my knees, sucking him off while he was sitting down, legs spread and head relaxed against the wall. That had never happened before, I had never ever knelt down to suck him, much less beneath him.

And in that moment it was like something clicked. I hated it in the moment. But then he came, I swallowed it, I went home… and then I was in my bed and the image of him kept crossing my mind. I had never tried being submissive, but the way he made me a sub so effortlessly (I think he didn’t even notice) was so hot to me for some reason.

I spend a whole week masturbating thinking about it, it was really messing with my head. For the first time ever, I started to watch stories on GSS thinking of myself as the dominated men, I was watching degradation porn and feeling degraded.

I am not sure when, but my boyfriend noticed it. He started to ask me if I was feeling weird, mostly because I wasnt being as hard on him whenever we were having sex. At first, I didn’t want to tell him, but I eventually caved in and told him because I knew I couldn’t keep it from him. That was last sunday.

Yesterday, he started to act dominant and it made me melt. I don’t know what happened to me, whenever he talks sexually I remember being on my kneed beneath him and it feels so good. He said that next weekend we were going to meet up to have sex and he would be the dominant top this time… and I couldn’t say no. He said he would fuck me in the ass and that I should be ready. When I told him I didn’t know how to be a good sub bottom, he told me to figure it out.

Today I spent the whoooole day horny, wanting to get home and masturbate. But a couple hours ago, as soon as I got home, he messaged me saying I couldn’t cum for the whole week, that I needed to save up for him. I asked him to cum just one last time but he said no. I turned my phone off and decided I was going to cum anyway, and started masturbating. When I was getting super close I started to picture him above me on my head and, when I noticed, I had stopped masturbating. It felt wrong to do it when he said I couldn’t.

So I started to try to finger myself, which I never did, but I wanted to feel some pleasure. I couldn’t really do it, I was so bad at it, but I managed to get two fingers inside of me. Still, couldn’t cum, of course. Now I am desperately horny, needy and I will apparently have to stay like this until the weekend.

I was talking to him about everything I did while fingering and he started laughing. Then he told me to post all of this here to ask for help. I need to become a good submissive bottom in a week, and I want tips. He also said you guys should leave some tips of what to do to me too, he is hoping you guys will be kinkier than he is.

He will read all of it, and I am so nervous. But be honest, give me and him your best tips. I am excited to be submissive, even though Im scared of how fast all of this is going.

3 Likes
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Where to begin? Since you’re brand…errr…“spanking”…new, I’ll focus mostly on practical/safety aspects rather than specific activities, but there’ll probably be a bit of that too.

Communication is key to a good Dom/sub relationship. During this initial exploration, it’s very important for you and your boyfriend/Dom to talk a lot about what’s going through your head…what you like and what you don’t, how you’re feeling overall. Do this often. If either of you find that there are things that aren’t working or make you feel uncomfortable, that should be talked about sooner rather than later. At the same time, though, if something’s really working for you, that’s good to talk about too.

Especially in the first few weeks/months, you’re likely to be a bit hyper, running around trying to do every submissive thing at once like a cat that’s got the zoomies. That’ll fade naturally over time, but it’s probably a good idea to let your partner help control the pace and not just you. One or both of you may feel you’re going too quickly, so you need to communicate if that’s the case. Try to find a happy middle ground until things start to feel more natural for both of you. A good way to slow things down, if needed, is to go over what’s working for both of you and just stick to that for a while before introducing something new. On the other hand, if you’re both having a blast, don’t hesitate to introduce new things.

Start small. It sounds like you’re already thinking along these lines, but you should definitely start with things that are relatively light and get heavier only once you’re both comfortable. The things you’re already starting to do are great first steps.

For anal, if that’s where you’re headed, start with one finger (either yours or his) and work your way up to more before you get to the more interesting bits. Use lots of lube and slow down/stop if anything’s uncomfortable.

Explore how much you want to try different things. What you mentioned seems mostly based on dominance, like he gives you orders and/or sets rules/restrictions. If you want to go beyond that, you can also explore bondage or S&M…things like light spanking, nipple biting/twisting, scratching, tickling, being restrained or gagged, and probably a whole host of things I’m not thinking of but others will.

If you do explore bondage, start with things from around the house that you know you can remove when you need to, like rope, belts, house coat ties, old shirts tied around your wrists or stuffed into your mouth, etc. Carabiners make great, cheap ways to attach things like chains. Do not buy cheap locks/handcuffs. Those things have a habit of deciding not to unlock and then you’ll have to call for help. Whenever you do get to the point of buying locks and such, try your local sex shop and ask the cashier or, if you’re buying online, ask for help from an experienced BDSMer.

Make sure you know what you’re doing. Read up on anything more than the most basic of activities before you do them. Hell, even if it does seem basic, read up on it. (Even as an experienced person, I’ve made the mistake of not reading up on something I thought was basic and regretting it.) If, for example, your boyfriend/Dom wants to gag you with a shirt, you need a way to breath and a way to remove the gag quickly in case there are problems. Forgetting about that sort of thing…would be bad. I realize you’re probably not looking at things like this yet, but better you’re warned too soon than too late.

That’s about all I can think of at the moment, so I’ll let others get a word in edgewise. :slight_smile:

3 Likes
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This just popped up in my YT feed. Thought it might be useful to you. (Note that it doesn’t start until a little over 9 hours from the time of this post.)

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I can’t tell if this is just creative writing or not since it’s pretty hot, but it sounds to me like you are both naturally falling into your roles. You make excuses like you Havnt had sex much before because you don’t live together yet, but then later make plans instantly to have you be his sub. When you sucked him off kneeling, you became relaxed, he became relaxed. Sounds pretty instinctual to me. Maybe he noticed it too. You will end up having more sex now. Good boy