Need feedback? Inquire within

I’ve been reading through posts on the forum about giving and receiving feedback regarding stories. One of the biggest issues I’ve run into as an author myself is taking criticism to heart - we write these stories for free, and opinions shared in a public forum have the added sting of public shame.

Thought about it for a bit, and thought I’d make an offer to all authors, be they new, aspiring, or veteran - if you have a story, and want feedback about it privately before you post it on the site, I’d be happy to give it a read through.

At this point in time I’m willing to do this for free, on the condition that the story be posted for free as well. If there’s a disproportionate demand I may reconsider this, but that’s unlikely. Given I’m Australian and locked down until November I have quite a bit of time on my hands at present.

I know very well that even a small amount of critique can be daunting, so I’ll leave it up to you how much of it you want me to provide. This can be anything ranging from a simple spelling and grammar check all the way up to detailed analysis of your plot, character development, and style.

If you’re interested, shoot me a PM. Cheers.


Do you also offer post-publish criticism? :upside_down_face:

Yeah absolutely. Just don’t want to barge into someone’s comments with unwanted critique :stuck_out_tongue:

If you happen to read my latest story (The Rainbow Zone: Mirror Mirror), I’d love any feedback you have to give on the Australian slang I used. I’m a Canadian, and there’s some overlap, but there’s also the possibility that I’ve wildly misused it.

(It’s 10k+ words, so please don’t feel obligated to read it if you weren’t planning to.)

I very much enjoyed the story! Given it’s a bit lengthy I ended up shooting you my suggestions as a PM rather than post them in a reply.

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Thank you! I’ll be making a few edits!

Hi, I have a story in need of proofreading. I’m not a native English speaker. Would you mind reading it?

Hi there. I am no native speaker either, but I am happy to proofread and comment your story if you like :sweat_smile:

How can I send it to you?

Absolutely Onli. You can PM it to me by tapping my user icon and then the blue Message button.

I was wondering if anyone could proofread this story before I publish? 'The day is mine' by Hypnoverse - Gay Spiral Stories
Asked a few friends, but they haven’t gotten a chance to look at it.

With pleasure, hoping that you would have a chance to read mine :slight_smile:

How do you want to receive my suggestions??

Hi, I replied on GSS. I hope you got that


Haven’t gotten a chance to see it yet, but I thank you for the feedback! I hope it was good, or I can make it better.

No, I just intended to ask
how you want to receive the feedback…


Sorry, lol. You can leave on in the comments, or post here potentially. You can also shoot me a message through the messenger

Hi, well let me respond here, I don;t know if the reply in GSS will be public when you publish.

I like the story and the end is interesting. A follow up would be nice.
Some picky remarks:

“will be offering their own to him” better refrase, for me it was a stumble block
“If he remembered correctly today was Friday” that is not so believable for a schoolkid. As a schoolkid I exactely know what day it is ……
“those awful slippers instead?” two times the word ‘instead’
I am not a native English speaker so I may have missed some things.

In general I would love it if there is some reference about where his powers come from.
What is the source? Now you just say he practiced 7 years. But was it a an inherited power, or a gift or some secret training or did he sell his soul to the devil? Perhaps just one sentence.
Even more in general. I keep struggling with the unresolved question why something he could have done for many days, just must happen this very day in a bit of a hurry. Can you suggest some reason? Is it his birthday or does he seek revenge or … ?
Just some reason, because now the whole story floats somewhere in mid-air.


Thank you for the feed back! I will see about added some context to the powers. And the word you pointed were helpful. Will work on it and let you of the changes if your interested in my revision.

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