Story Setup - Fair Turned boys

So I began writing this and while I kind of like what I have I have no clue where to go or what to do and such. So I figured I would post what I have written so far here in order to see what you all might think, what ideas you might have, etc.

Please feel free to share potentials and alterations and such things though I admit that at this point I am not so focused on proofreading and such. :slight_smile:

I will say that I do feel that the two guys go from “sin, sin everywhere” to accepting it too quickly, though I admit to not being sure how to go about fixing slash correcting that.

Anyway, without further ado, here is the story so far!

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Fair Turned Boys

“Well isn’t that different,” comments Tony from the window side table he is sitting at in the cafe.

“What are you on about?” Asks Alexander Kane, Xander to his friends and Master Kane to his boys.

Gesturing outside the cafe they are in, Tony comments. “Those two missionary boys walking the street. This aint their normal place!”

Which was as true a statement as had ever been heard. This was the Folsom Street Fair, not a place for uptight missionaries to walk about.

Which was why Kane was surprised when he looked up and saw the two guys walking down the street, bible held out in an attempt to ward off what they saw as the evil of sin.

Letting out a chuckle Kane nods, “well isn’t this an interesting sight.” As he keeps his eyes on the two lads he gets out his wallet to pay for his tea and bagel. Adding a bit of an extra tip due to the way the cute waitor lad let him flirt and caress.

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“People like you don’t belong here, get out!” Says a man in leather bondage gear to the two friends as they walk the street.

Before they can respond they hear another voice. “Now now Dillon, be nice. These two lads haven’t done anything to you, so why should you bother them!”

The two lads look up to see a man in a professional looking suit and tie come up behind them. He gives them a soft smile before looking at Dillon again. Who looks shocked at being called out for his behavior.

“Ah, sorry, sir,” Dillon says before walking away some distance.

“Now then, hello lads. My name is Alexander Kane and I can’t help but feel you might have made a wrong turn somewhere.” He then moves to give each of them a handshake.

“Hello sir,” says the first guy, “I’m William and this is Jonathan. Ah, and thank you for the rescue, that was mighty kind of you.”

“Not a problem William, Jonathan, not a problem. So, if I may ask what brings you to Folsom?”

“Well sir, you see we are attending a conference a few streets down.” Says Jonathan in answer.

Giving them a gentle smile Kane comments, “so would I be right in saying you asked for directions and someone pointed you to here?”

Two nods, “yes.”

William then says, “we asked for the quickest route you see and passing through here is that.”

A blink at that, “didn’t the person you ask mention that the festival is going on?”

Once again both nods. “Yes sir,” says Jonathan, “but we didn’t realize it was this full of sin.”

It is Kane’s turn to nod, “I see.” He stops speaking as a man in a full leather dog costume is being escorted by a man in bondage gear who is laughing at something the naked man next to him just said. A man who, to Kane’s interested eye, was walking in such a way that his cheeks naturally parted.

Hearing two gasps of shock, and what might have been a Hail Mary, leads Kane to say. “As I was saying, if you are comfortable with me escorting you down the street I can get you to the end without more interruptions.”

“Oh,” says William after a moment as his eyes turn from the sights around him, “that would be great thank you.”

“Not a problem. After all the Lord says that we must always help those in need.” Kane says with a smile as he pats both of their shoulders gently. With that said the three begin walking down the street.

A few steps down the road Jonathan says, “so sir, what brings you here?”

Kane gives a smile at the question before adding, “a business trip actually. I work for a big tech firm in New York who has interests down here.”

“So they asked you to come here,” William comments as soon as Kane finishes speaking.

“Yep exactly. It’s why I know the area, I have been coming to this city for many years now.” At this point Kane gestures for them to stop. “We need to wait here a moment.”

“Do we really sir?” Asks Jonathan with a shutter.

But before Kane can comment further they hear some music, the doors of the nearby shops open up, and a whole host of people begin moving out chanting.

Before either William or Jonathan can move they are forced closer to Kane, who moves so his arms wrap around both men. He then says, “pardon me, but its probably best if you stay close. If you don’t then you are liable to be swept away by those marching.”

From where William has put his head close to Kane’s chest they hear, “which would probably be bad.”

“Well, for you two, definitely. You wouldn’t enjoy what would happen next.”

“How long will we have to wait?” Jonathan asks from Kane’s other side as he moves his head to try and see what is going on.

“A few minutes, ten tops, then we will be on our way.” A pause, “if you want just close your eyes and listen to the music. Isn’t it sweet, isn’t it relaxing.”

“Hmm, yeah, kind of sir,” says William softly. He doesn’t know why but he feels safe here, protected. The music is soothing and so is the warmth he feels being around Kane.

Jonathan simply nods at that before turning his head away from the sights of sin that are going around him.

“Trust me on this, I know. You don’t have to worry about what is going on around you, you can stand here safe with me and each other. As you listen to the music and hear my words you don’t have to let the worries take you over. You can just relax a bit and drift, and before you know it I will be able to guide you to the next place we have to go.” A pause, “you trust me right?”

“Yeah,” says William, “I trust you.” He gives a soft smile after that as he looks up to meet Kane’s eyes.

A nod, “same,” from Jonathan. “Thank you for helping us.”

“Not a problem boys, not a problem. It makes me feel good to help others. To help you.” Kane then takes the moment to run his hands gently up and down there back, though nothing inapropriate at this time. “I know it feels good to let me help you?”

“Yeah, feels good.” Says William softly. It was the truth, he felt good, like he had no worries, no cares. Like he could just stand here in Kane’s arms and be safe.

This feeling staid with him, well with both of them, as Kane began to talk. It was a gentle set of commentary, nothing about what was going on around them. It was about the nice weather, the peaceful day, the calming breeze, the welcoming warmth, the pleasant scents, and the soothing voice.

Neither of the lads felt like doing anything. They just stood there gently drifting, letting everything Kane had said flow over them, and into them. They only spoke when he asked them a direct question, and even then it was slow to come forth for all that it made them feel better.

In the ten minutes of the march that occurred around them Kane learned so much. He knew they were 22 years old and natives of New York. But even more he learned they were both straight, did not have girlfriends, were virgins, and only had a few friends. In short, they were perfect.

Eventually the march moved on past them and the street was reduced to what it had been before the parade began. With a soft smile Kane ran his hands from their upper backs and down to their butts. Once there he fondled them both a bit, though gently, before raising his hands up to rub their heads a bit.

Two slightly gazed eyes looked up at him with soft out of it smiles on their faces.

With a soft smile of his own Kane says, “hey boys, so I know you like this feeling but its time to wake up a bit. So on the count of three you will find the gentle haze dissapearing from your mind as you wake up.” Kane then move shis hand and squeezes their butt, “one,” a nother fondle, “two,” and then a third caress, “three.”

“Woah sir,” says William with a small shake of the head a moment later, “that parade was something.”

“I agree sir, it was quite intense” Jonathan says as he shake shis own head.

Letting the two step away from him Kane then smiles, “its an aquired taste that is for sure.” He then rubs there heads which gets a bit of laughter. “Right then, let us continue walking, you have a meeting to make.”

It is Jonathan who then laughs, “if they even let us in as we are already late to it.”

“Yeah sir, they are big on proper timing.” William adds as well.

“I can’t see why they won’t let such good boys as you two in. Especially if you explain what had happened to you.” Kane comments as the three begin walking down the street once again.

“So sir,” says William, “how can you look at all this stuff and not get upset?”

Kane smiles at that, pats his shoulder and says, “well years of experience actually. Plus my line of work means I have to be accepting of people of all different natures.” Which is true, Kane thinks, since he often has to deal with homophobes. He then nods at a shop nearby, “plus this street is actually quite nice most times. The cafes, restaurants, and shops here have some of the best items in the area.”

Though not conviced Jonathan says, “if you say so sir.”

A rub of the hair, “I do indeed. You should trust me a bit.”

“I do,” says William with a full smile.

“Of course I do,” says Jonathan as well with a bit of a shivver of pleasure.

At this point they pass by a restaurant and Kane stops. “Oh, wait. So have you boys eaten?”

“No sir,” they say at once. While William adds, “we were planning to eat with the group, but with how things are going,” he then trails off.

“Perfect. So I have heard nothing but great things about this place. Let’s stop and get food hear.” So said, and before they can even think to argue, he moves them into the direction and heads to the shop.

Once insde the restaurant he glides towards the front. The two lads are too busy gaping in shock at the architecture and furnishings of what is a clearly high class establishment to notice that Kane seems to walk with knowledge.

They also don’t hear what he says to the gentleman at the desk. Which is good for they wouldn’t have reacted well to hearing, “a show and activity table for a master and two boys.”

They are then guided into the restaurant proper and to the half circle table that will be theirs. A table with a bench on one side about two rows away from a central wooden dance floor.

As soon as they get to the table Kane moves in such a way that he is between both of the others. An act which makes perfect sense considering the fun he plans on having with them.

“Oh this is perfect, its early enough that this place is not busy but at the same time we only need to wait thirty minutes for the show to start.”

“Hmm,” says William as he looks through the menu. He then blinks up, “what show is that sir?”

But before Kane can answer Jonathan comments, “hey, there are no prices on the menu?”

Giving Jonathan a smile he says, “don’t worry about that, I’m covering it.” A pause as he turns towards William, “its a surprsie, but I think you two will like it.” He then smiles before adding, “so what sorts of foods do you boys like?”

“Nothing as fancy as what’s here sir,” says William a second later after giving a small smile and nod towards Kane.

“Yeah, its so hard to decide what I want,” says Jonathan.

“Hmm, well then, if you trust me I can pick for you.”

“Of course we trust you,” says Jonathan.

At the same time William adds, “really, you would do that, thank you!”

Rubbing their hair a bit Kane smiles, “not a problem for my two boys, not a problem at all.” He then reaches over and hugs them, bringing them close into his body.

Both of them move their head so its burried in his neck.

When Kane lets go Jonathan moves backward quickly, though the smile on his face says he doesn’t really mind it.

William though, he keeps his face in the neck of Kane for a few more moments. Even takes a deep soothing breath, he just feels so good.

A few minutes later the waiter comes by to ask what they want for drinks and dinner. This leads to a small gasp of shock on Jonathan’s part for the waiter is wearing very little clothing, and what he is wearing seems to focus attention on his butt, crotch, and chest.

After smiling at both his lads, Kane makes the order - for all three of them. This gets a knowing look on the face of waiter at the same time as an understanding nod.

“What,” Jonathan then stutters out. He then shakes his head, “why is he waring that?”

“Well this is the Folsem Fair boys, of course they wear such clothing.” A pause for him to rub his arm up and down their backs, which get small smiles. “You know there is nothing wrong with it, trust me.”

“Yeah, okay,” says Jonathan, “I trust you.” With every word said after a bit of a pause.

“It’s great to hear that boys, so great.” Kane says with a smile and another gentle caress. One which goes slightly lower down their backs as compared to the previous one. With that said the three begin gently chatting as they wait for food.

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“Oh my,” says William after turning his head towards a nearby table upon hearing a sound.

His gasp of shock was because the sight before him, of guy who looks his own age bent over the table and having something being done to his rear end.

“Hmm,” Kane says upon hearing the sound. He then turns from where he was saying something to Jonathan and follows the gaze of William. “Oh, that.” He then chuckles softly before adding, “that’s quite fun you know, but I don’t think you boys are ready for such activity.”

“What,” William says a bit shocked, for all that he doesn’t feel outranged anymore.

“Yeah, its called rimming, and its a quite delicious act.” A pause as he rubs William’s back. “Your not ready but trust me when I say when you are you will love being bent over like that.”

“I will?” William says shocked at the comment. But then he tilts his head and thinks, 'sir is probably right, I do trust him after all."

“Of course, good boys like you two are becoming really enjoy such acts.”

“Well I don’t think that’s true sir,” says Jonathan as firmly as he can, which isn’t much since a quiver can be heard.

“Oh, really.” Kane says with a soft smile. “I would love to prove you wrong on that but you need to be ready.”

“I’m ready,” says Jonathan, to the surprise of Kane. Right after saying it Jonathan’s eyes widen in shock, for he is not sure why he said that.

“You are ready to pull your pants down, bend over the table and let me rim you?”

A nod, “yes sir, I am. I trust you.” Jonathan then smiles in realization, of course that is why he is ready, he trusts sir.

Which is why he doesn’t hesitate to stand up, unbuckle his pants before pulling both them and his underwear down. He then slides some plates out of the way and bends over.

As Kane gazes at the presented butt he smiles and thinks, ‘gottcha’. But what he says is, “what a good boy you are Johnny, what a very good boy. You like presenting for me don’t you?”

“Hmm, yeah sir, I do!” Jonathan says with a smile as pleasure comes over him.

“Hey,” says William, “if Johnny is ready why aren’t I?”

While reaching up to rub the butt with his finger Kane turns slightly to look at William. “I didn’t think you felt ready enough to bend over like Johnny is.”

“I’m ready. I trust you. I want to be a good boy too.” So said William then stands up and follows suit, bending over so he lies next to Johnny.

“Well then, what a good boy Billy, you are a good boy.” A pause, “reach back both of you and spread your cheeks, as its the prize between them you want to show me.”

“Hmm okay,” says Billy with a smile.

At the same time Johnny adds, “of course sir, enjoy my prize.” He isn’t sure why he says it, but he knows its right, because it feels right, as the tingle of pleasure through his body proves it.

A chuckle, “oh I will, I will indeed.”

Probably a dumb question but what are the lines of eights meant to represent

Also I’m not really seeing any mention of what the boys look like at all. That would be useful.

The lines of rights are section jumps. It’s how I organize things, though sometimes I use ~~~.

On the lack of descriptions well it’s somewhat intentional as I leave it blank for readers to fill in themselves.

:slight_smile:

Yeah, I totally know what you mean, because I also try to leave descriptions relatively vague to let people fill in with their own imagination.

But you probably can’t expect the reader do all the work. Like, t’s possible I’m just not seeing it, but there doesn’t seem to be any mention of hair color, height, or build, for example. Is one of the boys shorter than the other, for instance? What are they wearing? You don’t have to describe them in super close detail but I think a few basic building blocks doesn’t hurt.

That’s my opinion, of course. You are free to ignore it. :slight_smile:

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personally, I’d have to agree with Swizzington. I like to write very visually myself, painting a picture with words as it were, and speaking for myself anyway, that extends to reading. if there’s no visual clues in a piece of writing, it’s hard for me to immerse myself.

Thanks guys, I’ll take that in mind.:slight_smile:

I was wondering though if any of you or others have any thoughts on the plot, both what’s written and maybe ideas on where to go and such.

The only thing I would say about what you have already written is that maybe the part where they are standing around - the hypnotic induction part - could be drawn out a little more. Maybe another paragraph or two describing how he is easing them down into trance. Show the progression a little more.

Other than that, I think the plot is pretty good. Just needs some character descriptions and some proof reading and it’s good to go!

No idea where you might take it from here, tbh. It’s very open ended, you could take it anywhere. Perhaps he goes with the missionaries to their conference? Presumably it is full of similarly naive, young boys open to corruption. :slight_smile:

Other than that, I dunno.

Actually, instead of expanding the hypnotic induction when they’re in the street, perhaps that’s just the introductory trance. Once he has them relaxed and takes them to the restaurant, perhaps he hypnotizes them even deeper there - because they still have doubts and reluctance -and you can draw that part out further. I imagine, away from the hustle and bustle of the sinful streets, they may be more susceptible to further control.

The idea I just had (again, you are free to ignore it) is that when the food arrives, knowing they are good, spiritual young men, he offers to ‘say grace’. When they shut their eyes and put their hands together, he starts talking soothingly, and takes them down into a nice, hypnotic state :slight_smile: You can draw that part out nicely and it solves the problem you mentioned at the start of your post about them switching so fast.

Just an idea I had off the top of my head. Might be dumb, lol, but I figure it can’t hurt to throw stuff out there.

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Ooh great ideas.

I completely love the idea of using the saying of grace to deepen the trance. It sounds so perfect and serves as a great way to get them to be him.

So yeah that’s going to be added.

I also like the idea of our main guy going to the convention. The idea of him using his relaxing voice to trance the males there sound brilliant. Maybe he picks some of those who live in New York so he can make a sexy there that is basically his harem.

So yeah some great ideas. Thanks for sharing them.

Especially the saying grace part as that brought a huge smile onto my face.

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Oh hey, so not to be pushy by I was wondering if anyone had any other thoughts or ideas? :):relaxed:

I would change them into Latino skinned boys